30 Years of God’s grace

God was present when I was made in the secret place [Psalm 139:15]. He knew me before forming me in my mother’s womb [Jeremiah 1:5]. He created my inmost being and knitted me together in my mother’s womb [Psalm 139:13]. I am glad to have inhabited my geographical part of God’s universe as he marked out my appointed time in history without which I would not have sought him and reached out for him [Acts 17: 26-27].

While I was still a sinner, Christ Jesus died for me and made it possible for me to be reconciled to God [Romans 5:8 - 10]. Repentance made it possible for me to be baptized in Jesus Christ’s name for the forgiveness of my sins and the receipt of the Holy Spirit as my gift [Acts 2:38]. It is amazing that the prophets who spoke of the grace that eventually came to me, searched intently and with the greatest care trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of the Messiah and the glories that would follow. It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves when they spoke of the things that have now been told me by those who have preached the gospel to me by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels aspire to connect with this grace [1 Peter 1:10-12].

I am still a sinner though for If I claim to be without sin, I deceive myself and the truth is not in me. However, I always strive to confess my sins because I know that God is faithful and just and will forgive my sins and purify me from all unrighteousness. Why will I want to make God out be a liar, if I claim that I have not sinned? I surely want His word to have a place in my life! [1 John 1:8-10]. After all, God declares that whoever conceals his sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy [Proverbs 28:13]. It goes beyond just confessing!

I constantly beg God to help me with my anger because it does not produce the righteousness that God desires [James 1:20]. In my anger I sin big time - say things I should not say to my wife and children. However, I make sure that I do not let the sun go down while I am still angry [Ephesians 4:26]. I apologize and ensure that I am forgiven [Matthew 5:23-24]. Much gratitude to God for allowing the seed to fall on good soil [Matthew 13: 8]. Trust me, there were many years of rain, floods and winds, but the last thing on my mind was to fall … because my faith house had been founded on the rock [Matthew 7:25].

Secular ambitions needed to give way to careful living, watching my life and doctrine closely [1 Timothy 4:16]. There was no point gaining the whole world, and yet losing or forfeiting my very self. How could I ever be ashamed of Jesus Christ [Luke 9:23-26]? And the persecutions started [2 Timothy 3:12]. When I disobeyed, God disciplined me so severely that I thought my life was coming to an end [Hebrews 12:11; Leviticus 26:19]. Biggest sin in my life became Pride [linked to perfectionism/'judgementalism'] despite the scary warnings against this evil [Proverbs 3:34; Daniel 4:33; James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5-6]. But for Christ Jesus, I am by default a Pharisee [no thanks to the ‘Islamic zeal’ instilled in me by my Muslim parents of blessed memory]. I could sometimes be like the Pharisee, judging the tax collector [Luke 18:9-14].

Because of my stubborn sins, God set his face against me so that my enemies could defeat me; those who hated me ruled over me, and I was fleeing even when no one was pursuing me [Leviticus 26:17]. Pride had compromised my sincere hunger for righteousness and was this wicked in God’s sight! [Proverbs 28:1]. But I never stopped to acknowledge my error while suffering the consequences – holding on tightly to God. I remembered his promise regarding the plans he had [and still has] for me - plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future [Jeremiah 29:11].

Consequently, my faith started to grow from seeing the Bible as the Word of God and always desiring to hear from Him every day [Quiet Times; Romans 10:17]. When Pride sets in, there is a fall for me - sometimes, threatening my existential being [Proverbs 16:18]. However, despite the falls, God picks me up on each occasion [Proverbs 24:16]. Each time He picks me up he makes me the head, not the tail. Whenever I pay attention to the commands of the LORD my God and carefully follow them, I am always at the top, never at the bottom [Deuteronomy 28:13; James 1:25].

God found me my wife, which is good because it enables me to receive favour from the LORD [Proverbs 18:22]. I became one flesh with my wife [Genesis 2:24], and God multiplied us [Genesis 22:17]. Because children are a heritage of the Lord [Psalm 127:3], we assume responsibility to love them, cherish them, teach them, and lead them to eternal life. To Almighty God be the glory, coincidentally, our children were baptized into Christ first born to the last, 10 years, eight years and six years ago, respectively. Again, this could only have been God! No pressure exerted on any of them. And today they ‘disciple me’ when Pride starts to rear its ugly head again. When I am not considerate as I live with my wife, and disrespect her because she is the weaker partner, my prayers are hindered [1 Peter 3:7]. I need to recognize that my wife [baptized 32 years ago] is an heir with me of the gracious gift of life.

I have now learned to stand firm, letting nothing move me. I strive daily to give myself fully to the work of the Lord, because I know that my labour in the Lord is not in vain [1 Corinthians 15:58]. Set free 30 years ago, I try not to use my freedom to indulge the sinful nature though I still need to do better in serving others humbly in love [Galatians 5:13]. I may not be ‘honoured’ in my own territory, among my own people and in my own sanctuary [Mark 6:4], but I refuse to despair because I am chosen, a royal priesthood, striving for holiness and God’s special possession [1 Peter 2:9]. I am content declaring the praises of him who called me out of darkness into his wonderful light.

I will continue to make myself available to God to use in providing for my relatives, and especially for my own household. Otherwise, I would have denied the faith and become worse than a pagan [1 Timothy 5:8]. I cry out to God every day to show me how to manage my own family well and see that my children obey me, while doing so in a manner worthy of full respect. The grace of God that offers salvation to all people teaches me to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live a self-controlled, upright and godly life in this present age, while I wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of my great God and Savior, Jesus Christ [Titus 2:11-13].

As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD [Joshua 24:15]; and my greatest prayer outcome would be to experience 31 more years of active evangelism with my great grandchildren, in Jesus’ name…where God will give us the ‘hill country’ [Joshua 14:12].

I conclude with one of my epic scriptures 30 years ago: 2 Corinthians 1:21-22: “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.”

Shalom!